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It’s March 1971 – You’re A Teenager – You’re In L.A. – You’re Awkward – You Know It.

You are convinced she’s on another planet – just not one you inhabit.

– KRLA – Lee Sims – March 30, 1971 – Gordon Skene Sound Collection –

You’re bad at this – you’ve always been bad at this – you’re always going to be bad at this. Meeting girls is not in the cards for you. Problem is; you are one of the great lovers of life. You know it – well, you think you know it. It’s a theory that’s never been proven because you’re one of life’s Great Awkward ones. You live in your head and your head is a very active playground.

Happens all the time. You joke about it. You can’t let on – you are terrified. You always want to ask your head what’s the worst that could happen? But you never quite get around to it because your brain is busy sending you sweaty palms, dry mouth and an uncontrollable twitch if you give it half a chance.

Never happens when you meet someone by accident or for the first time – you’re brain hasn’t had a chance to start working on you. But give it five minutes and the picture gets frozen in your head – you imagine every perfect thing in the world, and she’s part of it. You’re about to enter a love story that can only happen in a movie, and then the other part of your brain kicks in. The part that reminds you you’re an idiot. You don’t even have a driver’s license – you once wet the bed when you were five – you are constantly broke – she’s going to laugh at you – she’s going to look at you like something that stuck to her shoe. You are clearly, undeniably, overwhelmingly out of her league.

You try to fight it. And right away you become Jell-O – you can’t get past one syllable – she really will think you’re a pervert. You have the shakes – you are vacant.

And within seconds your opportunity rides off into the Sunset. And you feel like a complete loser – total moron – two-legged doorknob -personification of Awkward.

You wish your head was on your side for once. That’s why you get stoned at parties – but it never turns out like you planned.

Next life: A monk.

At least you have KRLA to fall back on – here’s Lee Sims from March 30, 1971 to offer aid and comfort.

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