It hit you – like a ton of bricks, it hit you. The morning – the mirror – the face on the other side.
It’s staring back at you and it doesn’t look the same as it did the day before. Lines – baggy eyes – bloodshot – aged a thousand years. You don’t recognize you.
Tomorrow you hit 30 – the big three-oh. Oh no. Oh shit.
You want to avoid it like the plague – your girlfriend has it all planned – big party – friends you haven’t seen since High School.
You want to hide.
Your brain starts running through the file-cabinet: Your Plan – Your Life – Your goals. Twelfth grade essay just before graduation. You laughed then – you had plans then – you cringe now.
Nothing came true. Dead-end job – dead-end weekends. No millions – no bank account to speak of – no prospects – no house.
What were you expecting? Not to be nobody – that’s one thing. Doing something you like – that’s another thing. Not living in L.A. anymore, yeah, that too.
You don’t want to wear a tie – you feel your life flashing before your eyes when they call you “Sir”. The cubicle makes your skin crawl. Why do your pants need “a skosh more room”?
All downhill from here – all you can do is watch; the outside world – the TV – your receding hairline.
Your girlfriend still loves you – she says so – she just doesn’t stay overnight as much as she used to.
They need to throw a blanket over you and take you someplace quiet. Your brain is not shutting up.
Perhaps if you tried yelling – yelling at something – yelling at your job – yelling at your bank account – yelling at all the For Sale signs you can’t afford. Yelling at your inner-asshole. Maybe that would work.
One good yell – a loud one – one from the pit of your soul – one you can hear a thousand years from now.
It IS your birthday after all – no one will notice – if they did they’ll say you’re celebrating or maybe you won the Lottery.
You flick on your radio – KLOS – Damien. You yell – you drown out the music. It pierces – you stop – the music still plays.
The world didn’t stop – you feel better – you feel lighter.
You hope she bought Chocolate cake with Chocolate frosting.
And Damion serenades you at KLOS from April 10, 1978. Just so ya know.
